March 22, 2010--204.2--203.4

I know, I know--I go two months without posting a thing and then I throw up two new blogs in a week. Forgive me.

I have two reasons for posting so soon. First of all, Jacqui took a current picture of me yesterday afternoon. I wanted to post it. I'm also posting because I forgot to post a win from last month in my most recent blog.

Last month I went for my regularly scheduled check-up at the doctor's office. He has decided that I should stop taking the blood pressure medicine I've been on for several years. He was also excited to tell me that for the first time since we've been testing, all of my levels (good cholesterol, bad cholesterol, blood sugar, etc...) were all within "normal" ranges!!!! That's right, I'm a healthy feller!

There's more but I'll save it for next month. See you then.

March 17, 2010--211.6--204.6

Well it's about time! I haven't posted a new blog since January and that's simply not acceptable! There is just so much to report. The last two months have been filled with achieving goals, struggling with old demons, and embracing new opportunities.

Let's start with the goals achieved.

I celebrated my 29th birthday early by participating in the Cowtown Half-Marathon in Fort Worth, Texas on Saturday, February 27. I've run a half-marathon several times on my own--just me and the South Highland streets while the rest of Shreveport sleeps--but this was different. 25,000 people descended upon downtown Fort Worth to run (everything from a 1/2 mile fun run to an Ultra-Marathon). It was electric! To be a part of such a large gathering for such a positive purpose is indescribable! I fell in line with the 2-1/2 hour pace group but actually finished in 2 hours, 9 minutes, and 43 seconds--shattering my expectations for myself!

Because of that great experience, I've decided to push the envelope a bit and train for a full marathon being held in Dallas on April 11. As a result, I have set two new personal distance records in the past two weeks--running 16 miles on Sunday, March 7th and 18 miles just one week later. I will attempt 20 miles this coming weekend after which I will taper off for a few weeks in anticipation of the 26.2 that looms a mere 24 days from today.

As you can see from the title of this posting, I have also managed to lose another 7 pounds over the past 2 months. This brings me within 4.8 pounds of "onederland" and has also meant the difference between 32" jeans and the 30" pair that I need (but have yet to buy).

It has indeed been a good couple of months.

But it has not been without struggle. Sometime within the next week or so, I will be entering a Weight Watchers contest in which they are seeking positive role models. The winner of this contest will be brought to New York for a week, given $500 to wander around the city with, and land on the cover of Weight Watchers magazine. All that is required to enter is a 400 word essay explaining how I've been a positive role model for others along my journey.

As I was reading over this blog in search of inspiration for that essay it occured to me that I have not been a good role model in at least one regard--I've shared all of my glory with you but none of my defeats. A truly good role model exhibits both. A good role model not only gives inspiration that leads to victory but also a context for dealing with defeat. Over the last 15 months I have experienced tremendous amounts of victory. Over the past 2 months I have wallowed in defeat.

That defeat has come in the form of binge eating. It has happened on several occasions (to be honest, I've lost count as to how many times it has occured). It has most often happened at the end of a busy day and usually when Jacqui is not home. I'm tired, I'm alone and I eat...A LOT.

Some reading this will wonder what the big deal is--after all, I've still lost weight these past two months! Why worry about over-eating if the number on the scale continues to go down!??!?!?

That is not the issue. The title of this blog is "No Longer That Guy". "That Guy"--the one that I no longer want to be--had a very unhealthy relationship to food. That's putting it nicely. To be honest, "that guy"...THIS guy...was/is an addict. In my pride I had forgotten that reality and as a result, I fell.

I have to admit my problem. For 13 months I have been reversing 27 years of living to eat by learning to eat to live. For the past 2 months (at least on several occasions during the past two months) I have been reversing that progress in an attempt to use food to accomplish things that food was never intended to accomplish--comfort, stress relief, a cure for boredom, etc...

Excuses have abounded--"I'm too busy to shop for the right foods"..."I'm too busy to prepare the right foods"..."it's time to celebrate my accomplishments"..."everyone else gets to eat whatever they want"...

I have even gone as far as blaming others to a certain degree, even if just passively (i.e. not wanting to put others out by demanding we go out to eat at a place that is more Weight Watchers friendly). But I am the only one who controls me--no one and no thing else will have to answer for the decisions I make in any given situation. So the excuses stop here.

To be strong is to know how I am weak. Having named my weakness in such a public forum, I am confident that I will not continue to wrestle with the same demons for long. Once exposed, these things that seem so powerful in the dark tend to whimper away in the light. I will be successful. I will excel.

I have to because of the new opportunities at hand. Most of you know but for those who do not, I'm going to be a daddy in just 4 short months! He's not even here yet and my heart is overflowing with love and excitement for our baby boy. If I don't take care of me, I will be shortchanging Logan. In the past, this would have been perfectly acceptable to me. But that was the old me, I'm no longer that guy.

January 13, 2010. 211.2--211.6

I've been a weight watcher for nearly 29 years. It's just that for 28 of those years I was watching my weight go up and up and up and up and up! For the last 13 months, I have been a Weight Watcher--meaning that I've been watching it go down and down and down and down and down! I am 181.6 pounds lighter since December 13, 2008.

My .4 lbs gain this month notwithstanding, I did manage to slay the holiday beast! Back in early November, I read that the average American will gain 6 lbs between Thanksgiving and January 1st. It appears that I actually lost 6 lbs from the Saturday before Turkey Day to January 1. Is that the equivalent of being 12 lbs ahead of the game?????? Hmmm....

On Christmas Day I decided to not count points--to simply eat whatever I wanted in whatever quantities I wanted. I ate like a king...a large king...a really really FAT king. I DO NOT recommend this for anyone beginning the Weight Watchers journey. It takes time to embrace this as a lifestyle and until you reach that point, it is all too easy to forget that your primary problem with food is that you're addicted to it--jumping off of the wagon before you're mentally prepared to do so responsibly is way too dangerous to attempt. It took me over a year before I felt I could handle it...and handle it I did!

The most notable result from this "day off" came when my father-in-law asked me if I was overwhelmed with guilt for eating what I was eating. For a moment I felt like I should feel guilty. But just as quickly I realized that I didn't--not one bit. If I were on a diet, guilt would have been the only emotion available in that situation. But I have not merely changed what I eat for a short period of time. I have changed my life forever.

For the first time in my life, I realized that I was choosing to eat rather than being compelled to eat. I was in control of me and I could have never said that a year ago. Once again, thank you Weight Watchers!!!

In other news, I have received numerous reports of people deciding to turn their lives around because of the inspiration they've received from reading this blog. That is the only reason I do it! From the beginning, one of my goals has been to help others along this journey as well. It does my heart good to know that friends near and far are benefiting from this small window into my life.

If you're one of these people, I hope to see "less" of you soon!

December 15, 2009. 223.2--211.2

I have now been a Weight Watcher for 1 year and 2 days. While reflecting over these past 12 months, it occured to me that I somehow let 2 months slip by without updating this blog. Sadly, I do not have an updated picture to post but will add one soon.

Several things have happened since October that I'm eager to share. The first is that I reached Lifetime Status with Weight Watchers on Saturday, November 21st. This means that, over a six week period, I was able to show that I cannot only lose weight but maintain that loss as well. Lifetime members only have to weigh in once a month and can attend any meeting at any time for free so long as they are not over 2 pounds of their goal (227 is the limit for me).

I also dropped another pant size in the last two months--I am now wearing 32x32s--down from 50x30s a year ago--fulfilling my lifelong dream to be as big around as I am tall :P

As of last weekend, I am weighing in at 211.2 for a total weight loss of 182 lbs. I have decided to work toward weighing in at 193.2 for a couple of reasons. First of all, I think it would be pretty cool to be able to say that I've lost 200 lbs! The second reason is slightly more serious--at 211.2 I am still considered obese. Judging by the BMI scale, a 28 year old man of my height should weigh, at the most, 195 pounds. I'm interested to see how I both feel and look at "normal" weight. It'll also be pretty sweet to be a part of the "Onederland" community for a while.

I usually avoid making New Year's Resolutions but the one I hope to stick to this year is to keep this blog updated on a more consistent basis--I'd hate for any of you to think I fell off the wagon in between posts...

October 13, 2009 marks my 10-month anniversary as a Weight Watcher and I have reached a very important milestone! As of this past Saturday, I have officially reached my ultimate weight loss goal. That goal (which was set several months back) was 225 pounds. With Saturday's weigh-in, I am now down to 223.2 for a total weight loss of 170 pounds!!! And I feel GREAT!

Just for fun yesterday, I decided to try on some of my old clothes (second picture from the top). Those are 50x32 pants and a XXXXL shirt. Back in December, these would have been edging in on getting too tight to wear. The bottom picture is me in my new clothes: 34x32 pants and an XL shirt. Did I mention that I feel GREAT?

Notice that I am referring to this as a milestone. I do that on purpose because I am not finished being transformed. I am now beginning the process of maintenance--a period of time in which I try to find the sweet spot for my metabolism. I will spend the next 6 weeks trying to figure out how many calories my body requires to maintain this weight. The good news is that I get to eat a little more than I have been for the past couple of months! The stressful part is trying to pinpoint exactly how much extra is the right amount for my body.

If, at the end of this six week period, I am within two pounds of 225, I will become a lifetime member of Weight Watcher--no longer having to pay the monthly fee while maintaining all of the benefits of a member so long as I stay within range of 225 on a month-to-month basis. I am also pursuing part-time employment with Weight Watchers so that I can help others just as I have been helped along my journey.

Another important milestone this past month was reached on Friday, October 2nd. I set out early that morning to set a new personal record for myself. I was going to run 12 miles (previous best was 10.2 miles)! I reached that goal, which was great...but I decided that that day was going to be exceptional. So even though everything inside of me was done...ready to go to the house to rest up and get ready for work, I decided to push through an extra 2 miles. That's right, I ran 14 miles on Friday, October 2, 2009--more than a half-marathon!

I need to begin dreaming new dreams and setting new goals for myself as this journey continues. Many of you know that I abhor only focusing on short term goals. Short term goals lead to short term success. So my ultimate goal will always be to be healthy--ongoing and lifelong. There is so much that I'll be able to do that would have been impossible just 10 months ago.

I'm done being big...it's time to dream big.

September 14, 2009. 241.4--236.2

Another month has come and gone and I am still trucking al0ng on my way to never being the guy I had allowed myself to become ever again! 9 months and 157 pounds ago, I had become a settler. I was pretty sure I had allowed myself to go too far to ever turn things around. I felt that I needed my daily fix of fatty foods and that I simply could not function without them. I knew I couldn't exercise...I mean what's a 393.2 pounder going to do when the weight limit on the treadmill is only 275?!?!?!?!?!??!?

So I settled. I settled for the way things were, believing that I was powerless to overcome them. But then something clicked. All these months now, I've been trying to figure out what that "something" was but can't quite peg it down. It was something deep inside that changed my overall mindset--something that made me realize that I was worth way too much to just settle for the corner I'd painted myself into...something that made me desire so much more out of life than morbid obesity could ever offer...something that would not settle for anything less than exceptional change.

So I started my journey--one pound...one new experience...one victory at a time.

This month I do not have a dramatic weight loss to report--I've only dropped 5.2 pounds this month. I actually gained a little bit in late August/early September. I spent a rather lethargic week fighting a chest cold and didn't exercise much. But I am still right where I'd intended to be. And ANY loss is a good loss when it comes to the battle of the bulge!

I do have two "non-scale" victories to report this month. Many of you know that I've fallen in love with running. I love to push myself as far as I can and then go a little further...I've found that if you persistently go a little further than you ever thought possible, pretty soon that "little bit further" becomes "not quite far enough." So with that mindset, I woke up early a couple of Saturdays ago and actually ran 10.2 miles in a little over 2 hours!!!!!!!!!!!! As I continue to build off of that progress, I should have no trouble with the half-marathon I plan on entering in November. Stay tuned!

The second victory of the month actually came as a surprise. I had saved several pair 38" pants from around the time of our wedding. I was thrilled when they finally started fitting again just a few months ago. This past weekend, I threw on a pair of those jeans and was about to leave the house when I realized that they were terribly droopy...

So we hit the stores. I tried on the 36" pants and the same was true--they were too droopy as well! So, I am proud to say that I am now wearing a 34" waist!!! That's down from a 50" when I started this journey 9 months ago yesterday!!!! So I got new pants and (as you can tell from my current photo above, I need to go pick up a new belt as well).

5.2 Pound Weight Loss + New Running Record + Down 2 Pant Sizes This Month = Major Win!

Weight Loss Journey-August 2009

258.2-241.4

August 13th marked my 8 month anniversary as a Weight Watcher and several goals have been met.

First of all, I have my regular 6 month check-up with my doctor coming up this week. For years every visit to him ended in the same way--"Matt, you know your family's history as well as I do--if you don't get your weight under control, you're going to have terrible health for the rest of your life." I would generally scoff at his judgment and hit Mr. Ghatti's pizza buffet on my way home--you know, because I was on that side of town...

Well, last time I went in for my 6 month check up was after 2 months as a Weight Watcher. I had lost over 40 pounds and was (for the first time in a long time) finally weighable on his scale that only went up to 350 lbs. I was so proud of myself and that fool didn't say anything about it! He didn't even bring it up. Ugh...

I left fuming and set a goal to have lost 150 pounds by the time of my next visit. Well that visit is coming up on the 19th and as of this past Saturday, I have lost 151.8 pounds!!!! If he ignores 150 pounds lost, I may just have to throw him out of the window!

Another goal reached this month has to do with the last time I was on Weight Watchers. As I mentioned in an earlier post, I used Weight Watchers as a DIET to lose a bunch of weight before my wedding back in 2005. I lost 109 pounds and got down to 247 lbs. Then I got cocky--I remember thinking, "I don't need to pay these people to weigh me! I've lost 109 pounds!"

As always, short term goals lead to short term success. I started to gain weight back immediately after I quit Weight Watchers. And I know that at this point, some bozo is going to use that last statement as an excuse to not change their life for the better--"See, you can lose all of that weight on Weight Watchers, but as soon as you stop following the plan, you'll gain it all back!"

Weight Watchers does not work long term as a diet. The beautiful thing, though, is that it is not intended to be a diet. Diets end. Lifestyles are forever. I failed to grasp that the first time around, but now I know it and live it every day! But I digress...

I got down to 247 and started to gain weight back immediately. Why is that significant? Well, I graduated high school back in 1999 weighing in at or around 250. So, it's official, with a weigh in this past Saturday at 241.4, I am now the lightest I have been since I was a senior in high school! That feels pretty good!

And finally, I cannot stop running. I started out in December, only able to do 2 minutes on a treadmill at 2.5 mph. I recently ran 7.5 miles in 1-1/2 hours!

Only 16.4 lbs to go to goal!!!