June 18, 2011--270(ish)-225

- Taken just before Christmas 2010.

Less than a month later, I weighed in at a whopping 300 pounds.

By the way, I'm the one on the right.

- Taken June 17, 2011. I currently weigh 225 pounds.

Early last Saturday--around 4:15 a.m.--I became a graduate of P90X. P90X is an intense at-home program that incorporates resistance training, cardiovascular development, and various stretching techniques to bring a more holistic approach to physical fitness. After 90 days of showing up even when I didn't exactly feel like it and giving it everything I had each and every time I pressed play, I am now in the best shape of my life.

I know a lot of people who have started P90X. I know very few who have completed the program. Those who stop usually do so for one of two reasons. Either (1) it is too hard or (2) they do not feel like they are seeing the results they had expected to see.

My response to the first objection is that it should be hard. Every time I would huff, puff, and have to push the pause button during the first month of the program I would remind myself that if I could do this all the way through right out of the box, it wouldn't be worth doing at all. Easy workouts benefit no one. Hard things get easier with persistence.

To the second, I had no response to offer until I started the final third of the workout. I didn't have any noticeable results to speak of until day 60 and following. But when the results came, they all seemed to come at once.

First of all, 45 pounds in 3 months is quite the result in my opinion. When I started, I was barely squeezing into a pair of 38x32 pants. I am now comfortably wearing a pair of 32x32s. Back in March, I was wearing a tight Big & Tall brand XXL shirt. I now wear a regular XL shirt from a regular store. I am stronger than I have ever been in my life, I am even more confident in my ability to meet and overcome difficult challenges, and I have a newfound respect for yoga!

I have already started a slightly modified P90X round 2. I am continuing on with the resistance workouts while replacing everything else with marathon training. I have my eyes set on the St. Jude marathon on December 3--a goal I plan to achieve a week before I complete round 3 of P90X.

What lofty goals are you setting for yourself these days? It is the only way out of your rut.

May 2, 2011--206.6--????

(December 13, 2008--393.2 pounds)

I had intended to write this on April 24, 2011...you know, so it would be exactly one year since my last post. The hope was to make my hiatus from blogging seem more intentional than it actually was but April 24 came and went without an e-peep from me. So here we are one year and 8 days later--duh, duh, duh, duuuhhhhh....

A lot has happened in my time away...an awful lot. The most significant, of course, is that my son was born on June 28, 2010. He is the best part of me. He is the best part of his mamma. Better than that, he is the best part of us. He is all kinds of wonderful. And with his arrival, my life has changed in all kinds of ways.

If you read any of my older posts, you'll begin to pick up on the fact that I am a firm believer in discipline. It is impossible to do anything of any value without it. Thinking that positive changes will happen in your life without a little hard work and dedication is, at best, a pipe dream...at worst, a sad reality for most people. Anybody can start a diet on Monday morning. It's what you do on Tuesday...and Wednesday...etc...etc...etc...that counts.

All of the weight I lost melted away due to my strict adherence to a way of life that was built around a specific schedule. This schedule included not only what I would eat and when but when I would work out as well. At the time Logan was born, I was still running fairly long distances which would mean I was leaving the house around 4:30 in the morning and returning home around 6, just in time to get ready for work.

I was able to maintain this schedule for a number of months after he arrived--particularly throughout the time that Jacqui was on maternity leave. But when Jacqui returned to work around the end of the summer, I simply could not keep this schedule up in good conscience. It was not right for me to be away so often for so long without doing my part for my wife and my baby boy.

Around the end of September, I stopped running altogether. I would wake up early with Logan so that Jacqui could sleep because, more often than not, she was the one who would get up with him throughout the night. So I'd rock him...sing to him...play with him...read to him...oh yeah, and I ate too. I ate a lot. Boy, oh, boy did I eat! Mercy.

After all of that rocking and singing and playing and reading, Logan would usually fall back to sleep. But I was wide awake. And with nothing to do but sit with a sleeping baby and having had no exercise to energize my body or curb my appetite, I opened the floodgate to bad decisions. Please understand, my old demons did not just return for a visit from time to time, by the middle of October, they had moved back in to stay.

Looking back, it boggles my mind how much I was able to eat during that time. I would eat before leaving for work, stop somewhere on my way to the office to grab another breakfast and a snack, gobble all of that down before anyone else arrived, I'd hit a local convenience store on my way out to see patients and then grab my lunch and another afternoon snack before returning to work. On my way home, I would stop at a grocery store and buy ice cream and cookies--all of which would be finished off either before bed that night or, at the very least, along with my breakfast the next morning. And the cycle continued day after day after day after day.

I cannot say with any certainty just how much weight I gained between October 1 and January 1. After all, the weight listed in my previous post was just after running a marathon. I know I was heavier than that by the time this insanity started. So I cannot be sure how much I gained. I know it was a lot. When I weighed myself in early January, I learned that I was back up to 300 pounds. 300 pounds. 300. Pounds.

In retrospect, what I find most shocking about that discovery is that it did nothing to me. I was numb to the fact that I was back in the 300s and did not decide to change anything for another couple of weeks. And I cannot tell you why or how but on January 14, 2011 I woke up. Enough was enough. It was time for a change.

I realized that morning that I had initially viewed caring for Logan in the morning as an inconvenience. I had later embraced it as an excuse. Neither of these is acceptable because (a) he is the greatest gift I have ever received and (b) he doesn't deserve that kind of pressure. So I came up with a plan that morning that I have been following ever since:

1.) I figured out a way that would allow me to exercise in the morning before work while at the same time caring for Logan 4 out of 7 mornings a week.

2.) I began preparing all of my breakfasts, snacks, and lunches for the week on either Saturday or Sunday afternoon. I had been doing this on the morning of the day I was going to eat the food but have found it to be a better use of my time if I get it all together at once. This gives me more time for either working out or caring for Logan in the mornings.

3.) I immediately began setting short-term fitness goals. My first goal was to begin taking the stairs at work again (we are on the 7th floor of our building) no later than February 1st. I achieved that goal early. My next was to begin running again. At first I could only run about 1/4 of a mile. My last run was 6 miles. Short term fitness goals are the key to long term fitness success. If you say you can't, I say you haven't tried intelligently.

With these things in place (not to mention the support of my lovely bride) I have turned this thing around.

You'll notice, however, that I do not have a current weight listed or a current picture shown. The reason for that is because I'm not spending a lot of time on the scales anymore. I love Weight Watchers. I need you to know that. If you want to lose weight and be healthier, Weight Watchers is the best way to reach those goals. But I've come to grips with the fact that my problems go much deeper than simply eating too much. My problems are more compulsive in nature and compulsively checking my weight on a scale is simply trading one compulsion for another.

So, since January 14 I have stood on a scale about once every month-and-a-half. And the last time I stood on the scale (about 2 weeks ago) I weighed in at 245 pounds. So, all I know is that I've lost at least 55 pounds since January. I'll probably check it again in June.

As of today, I am on day 51 of P90X (which is both very intense and very enjoyable). This will end a week before marathon training begins (mid-June). I plan to run the St. Judes Marathon in December. Then I will do another round of P90X to kick off 2012 and hope to run the OKC Memorial 1/2 Marathon almost exactly one year from today. Remember what I said about short term goals? A lot of short term goals strung together can make for a lifetime of healthy living.

So what have I learned through all of this? My sister, whom I adore, is about to celebrate 7 months of sobriety. She once told me (and I believe her because she lives it) that "setbacks are set-ups for comebacks". I've learned that for sure.

The other lesson I've learned is that most (if not all) of us are looking for excuses to not be the best we can be. If we can come up with a reason why we shouldn't be esteemable, we can feel more content with embracing mediocrity. Some excuses are valid (and, therefore, need to be worked around). Some excuses are noble (and, therefore, do not need to be looked down upon by anyone). But for most of us, any excuse will do (and, therefore, have to be named for what they are).

But I can't do that for you. Only you can name your excuse. Only you can overcome it. The key words, of course, are "you can overcome it."

You'll hear from me soon.

April 24, 2010--203.4-206.6

Well, I did it! Back on Sunday, April 11, I ran the Big D (and I DO mean Dallas) Marathon. All it took was a little over 5 hours, a slight conversion experience along the road, and at least two pints of nipple blood.

A little background (that I've probably shared with you before). When I first started Weight Watchers--back in December of 2008--I weighed in at just under 400 pounds. I was, as they say in the medical profession, "very, VERY fat". Weight Watchers is the best of the best as far as weight loss plans go in many ways but among the top is the fact that it is possible for a very large person to lose significant amounts of weight simply by following the eating plan. That being said, once you taste a bit of what Weight Watchers has to offer, it is impossible for the serious member to ignore all other aspects of the lifestyle--a key component of which is "moving more".

After losing quite a bit of weight, I decided that it was time to do just that. At the time Jacqui and I were babysitting a treadmill for some good friends. It was time to dust that bad boy off, ignore it's 275 pound weight limit, and give it a try. At a zero incline, I commenced to walk for 2 minutes at a 2.5 mph pace. I did not set out to walk for 2 minutes--my goal was to walk for 30--but it was near the two minute mark when it felt that I had shattered both knee caps, collapsed a lung, and began having palpitations. I honestly thought I was dying and was so out of breath after such a short workout that I couldn't even call Jacqui into the room for help.

That was a little more than a year ago. Three weeks ago, I ran a friggin' marathon!

The takeaway? Decide that you want to do something extraordinary, start where you are, push yourself a little further each and every day, and achieve that goal. After all, the only thing between you and that goal is you--you settling for the ordinary...you occaisionally getting motivated to change your life but growing discouraged and giving up the moment that you realize that you're not already where you were hoping to be the instant that you decided that you wanted to change your life...you refusing to push yourself because the familiar is WAY more comfortable (but is it really?!!??!?).

Go ahead and scroll back to the top of this post--that guy...the one in the first picture...should not have been crossing a marathon finishing line in April 2010. That guy should have been dead by now or, at the very least, in a wheel chair/stroke rehab center.

Oftentimes, people will say to me, "I wish I had your motivation." In my pride I could gloat over such comments. But I can't...I can't because I have a memory. And that memory reminds me that at one point I was the least motivated creature on the planet. One does not balloon up to 393.2 pounds as a result of being motivated...the only way to get there is down the path of directionless self-loathing. In other words, if anyone lacked motivation, it was me...

If you're one who covets my motivation, you'll never reach your goals. You will, however, be better off tomorrow than you are today if you'll do the long hard work of reaching down deep inside yourself, finding whatever spark of your own motivation that remains, and fan it into flame one moment...one action...one decision at a time.

March 22, 2010--204.2--203.4

I know, I know--I go two months without posting a thing and then I throw up two new blogs in a week. Forgive me.

I have two reasons for posting so soon. First of all, Jacqui took a current picture of me yesterday afternoon. I wanted to post it. I'm also posting because I forgot to post a win from last month in my most recent blog.

Last month I went for my regularly scheduled check-up at the doctor's office. He has decided that I should stop taking the blood pressure medicine I've been on for several years. He was also excited to tell me that for the first time since we've been testing, all of my levels (good cholesterol, bad cholesterol, blood sugar, etc...) were all within "normal" ranges!!!! That's right, I'm a healthy feller!

There's more but I'll save it for next month. See you then.

March 17, 2010--211.6--204.6

Well it's about time! I haven't posted a new blog since January and that's simply not acceptable! There is just so much to report. The last two months have been filled with achieving goals, struggling with old demons, and embracing new opportunities.

Let's start with the goals achieved.

I celebrated my 29th birthday early by participating in the Cowtown Half-Marathon in Fort Worth, Texas on Saturday, February 27. I've run a half-marathon several times on my own--just me and the South Highland streets while the rest of Shreveport sleeps--but this was different. 25,000 people descended upon downtown Fort Worth to run (everything from a 1/2 mile fun run to an Ultra-Marathon). It was electric! To be a part of such a large gathering for such a positive purpose is indescribable! I fell in line with the 2-1/2 hour pace group but actually finished in 2 hours, 9 minutes, and 43 seconds--shattering my expectations for myself!

Because of that great experience, I've decided to push the envelope a bit and train for a full marathon being held in Dallas on April 11. As a result, I have set two new personal distance records in the past two weeks--running 16 miles on Sunday, March 7th and 18 miles just one week later. I will attempt 20 miles this coming weekend after which I will taper off for a few weeks in anticipation of the 26.2 that looms a mere 24 days from today.

As you can see from the title of this posting, I have also managed to lose another 7 pounds over the past 2 months. This brings me within 4.8 pounds of "onederland" and has also meant the difference between 32" jeans and the 30" pair that I need (but have yet to buy).

It has indeed been a good couple of months.

But it has not been without struggle. Sometime within the next week or so, I will be entering a Weight Watchers contest in which they are seeking positive role models. The winner of this contest will be brought to New York for a week, given $500 to wander around the city with, and land on the cover of Weight Watchers magazine. All that is required to enter is a 400 word essay explaining how I've been a positive role model for others along my journey.

As I was reading over this blog in search of inspiration for that essay it occured to me that I have not been a good role model in at least one regard--I've shared all of my glory with you but none of my defeats. A truly good role model exhibits both. A good role model not only gives inspiration that leads to victory but also a context for dealing with defeat. Over the last 15 months I have experienced tremendous amounts of victory. Over the past 2 months I have wallowed in defeat.

That defeat has come in the form of binge eating. It has happened on several occasions (to be honest, I've lost count as to how many times it has occured). It has most often happened at the end of a busy day and usually when Jacqui is not home. I'm tired, I'm alone and I eat...A LOT.

Some reading this will wonder what the big deal is--after all, I've still lost weight these past two months! Why worry about over-eating if the number on the scale continues to go down!??!?!?

That is not the issue. The title of this blog is "No Longer That Guy". "That Guy"--the one that I no longer want to be--had a very unhealthy relationship to food. That's putting it nicely. To be honest, "that guy"...THIS guy...was/is an addict. In my pride I had forgotten that reality and as a result, I fell.

I have to admit my problem. For 13 months I have been reversing 27 years of living to eat by learning to eat to live. For the past 2 months (at least on several occasions during the past two months) I have been reversing that progress in an attempt to use food to accomplish things that food was never intended to accomplish--comfort, stress relief, a cure for boredom, etc...

Excuses have abounded--"I'm too busy to shop for the right foods"..."I'm too busy to prepare the right foods"..."it's time to celebrate my accomplishments"..."everyone else gets to eat whatever they want"...

I have even gone as far as blaming others to a certain degree, even if just passively (i.e. not wanting to put others out by demanding we go out to eat at a place that is more Weight Watchers friendly). But I am the only one who controls me--no one and no thing else will have to answer for the decisions I make in any given situation. So the excuses stop here.

To be strong is to know how I am weak. Having named my weakness in such a public forum, I am confident that I will not continue to wrestle with the same demons for long. Once exposed, these things that seem so powerful in the dark tend to whimper away in the light. I will be successful. I will excel.

I have to because of the new opportunities at hand. Most of you know but for those who do not, I'm going to be a daddy in just 4 short months! He's not even here yet and my heart is overflowing with love and excitement for our baby boy. If I don't take care of me, I will be shortchanging Logan. In the past, this would have been perfectly acceptable to me. But that was the old me, I'm no longer that guy.

January 13, 2010. 211.2--211.6

I've been a weight watcher for nearly 29 years. It's just that for 28 of those years I was watching my weight go up and up and up and up and up! For the last 13 months, I have been a Weight Watcher--meaning that I've been watching it go down and down and down and down and down! I am 181.6 pounds lighter since December 13, 2008.

My .4 lbs gain this month notwithstanding, I did manage to slay the holiday beast! Back in early November, I read that the average American will gain 6 lbs between Thanksgiving and January 1st. It appears that I actually lost 6 lbs from the Saturday before Turkey Day to January 1. Is that the equivalent of being 12 lbs ahead of the game?????? Hmmm....

On Christmas Day I decided to not count points--to simply eat whatever I wanted in whatever quantities I wanted. I ate like a king...a large king...a really really FAT king. I DO NOT recommend this for anyone beginning the Weight Watchers journey. It takes time to embrace this as a lifestyle and until you reach that point, it is all too easy to forget that your primary problem with food is that you're addicted to it--jumping off of the wagon before you're mentally prepared to do so responsibly is way too dangerous to attempt. It took me over a year before I felt I could handle it...and handle it I did!

The most notable result from this "day off" came when my father-in-law asked me if I was overwhelmed with guilt for eating what I was eating. For a moment I felt like I should feel guilty. But just as quickly I realized that I didn't--not one bit. If I were on a diet, guilt would have been the only emotion available in that situation. But I have not merely changed what I eat for a short period of time. I have changed my life forever.

For the first time in my life, I realized that I was choosing to eat rather than being compelled to eat. I was in control of me and I could have never said that a year ago. Once again, thank you Weight Watchers!!!

In other news, I have received numerous reports of people deciding to turn their lives around because of the inspiration they've received from reading this blog. That is the only reason I do it! From the beginning, one of my goals has been to help others along this journey as well. It does my heart good to know that friends near and far are benefiting from this small window into my life.

If you're one of these people, I hope to see "less" of you soon!

December 15, 2009. 223.2--211.2

I have now been a Weight Watcher for 1 year and 2 days. While reflecting over these past 12 months, it occured to me that I somehow let 2 months slip by without updating this blog. Sadly, I do not have an updated picture to post but will add one soon.

Several things have happened since October that I'm eager to share. The first is that I reached Lifetime Status with Weight Watchers on Saturday, November 21st. This means that, over a six week period, I was able to show that I cannot only lose weight but maintain that loss as well. Lifetime members only have to weigh in once a month and can attend any meeting at any time for free so long as they are not over 2 pounds of their goal (227 is the limit for me).

I also dropped another pant size in the last two months--I am now wearing 32x32s--down from 50x30s a year ago--fulfilling my lifelong dream to be as big around as I am tall :P

As of last weekend, I am weighing in at 211.2 for a total weight loss of 182 lbs. I have decided to work toward weighing in at 193.2 for a couple of reasons. First of all, I think it would be pretty cool to be able to say that I've lost 200 lbs! The second reason is slightly more serious--at 211.2 I am still considered obese. Judging by the BMI scale, a 28 year old man of my height should weigh, at the most, 195 pounds. I'm interested to see how I both feel and look at "normal" weight. It'll also be pretty sweet to be a part of the "Onederland" community for a while.

I usually avoid making New Year's Resolutions but the one I hope to stick to this year is to keep this blog updated on a more consistent basis--I'd hate for any of you to think I fell off the wagon in between posts...

October 13, 2009 marks my 10-month anniversary as a Weight Watcher and I have reached a very important milestone! As of this past Saturday, I have officially reached my ultimate weight loss goal. That goal (which was set several months back) was 225 pounds. With Saturday's weigh-in, I am now down to 223.2 for a total weight loss of 170 pounds!!! And I feel GREAT!

Just for fun yesterday, I decided to try on some of my old clothes (second picture from the top). Those are 50x32 pants and a XXXXL shirt. Back in December, these would have been edging in on getting too tight to wear. The bottom picture is me in my new clothes: 34x32 pants and an XL shirt. Did I mention that I feel GREAT?

Notice that I am referring to this as a milestone. I do that on purpose because I am not finished being transformed. I am now beginning the process of maintenance--a period of time in which I try to find the sweet spot for my metabolism. I will spend the next 6 weeks trying to figure out how many calories my body requires to maintain this weight. The good news is that I get to eat a little more than I have been for the past couple of months! The stressful part is trying to pinpoint exactly how much extra is the right amount for my body.

If, at the end of this six week period, I am within two pounds of 225, I will become a lifetime member of Weight Watcher--no longer having to pay the monthly fee while maintaining all of the benefits of a member so long as I stay within range of 225 on a month-to-month basis. I am also pursuing part-time employment with Weight Watchers so that I can help others just as I have been helped along my journey.

Another important milestone this past month was reached on Friday, October 2nd. I set out early that morning to set a new personal record for myself. I was going to run 12 miles (previous best was 10.2 miles)! I reached that goal, which was great...but I decided that that day was going to be exceptional. So even though everything inside of me was done...ready to go to the house to rest up and get ready for work, I decided to push through an extra 2 miles. That's right, I ran 14 miles on Friday, October 2, 2009--more than a half-marathon!

I need to begin dreaming new dreams and setting new goals for myself as this journey continues. Many of you know that I abhor only focusing on short term goals. Short term goals lead to short term success. So my ultimate goal will always be to be healthy--ongoing and lifelong. There is so much that I'll be able to do that would have been impossible just 10 months ago.

I'm done being big...it's time to dream big.

September 14, 2009. 241.4--236.2

Another month has come and gone and I am still trucking al0ng on my way to never being the guy I had allowed myself to become ever again! 9 months and 157 pounds ago, I had become a settler. I was pretty sure I had allowed myself to go too far to ever turn things around. I felt that I needed my daily fix of fatty foods and that I simply could not function without them. I knew I couldn't exercise...I mean what's a 393.2 pounder going to do when the weight limit on the treadmill is only 275?!?!?!?!?!??!?

So I settled. I settled for the way things were, believing that I was powerless to overcome them. But then something clicked. All these months now, I've been trying to figure out what that "something" was but can't quite peg it down. It was something deep inside that changed my overall mindset--something that made me realize that I was worth way too much to just settle for the corner I'd painted myself into...something that made me desire so much more out of life than morbid obesity could ever offer...something that would not settle for anything less than exceptional change.

So I started my journey--one pound...one new experience...one victory at a time.

This month I do not have a dramatic weight loss to report--I've only dropped 5.2 pounds this month. I actually gained a little bit in late August/early September. I spent a rather lethargic week fighting a chest cold and didn't exercise much. But I am still right where I'd intended to be. And ANY loss is a good loss when it comes to the battle of the bulge!

I do have two "non-scale" victories to report this month. Many of you know that I've fallen in love with running. I love to push myself as far as I can and then go a little further...I've found that if you persistently go a little further than you ever thought possible, pretty soon that "little bit further" becomes "not quite far enough." So with that mindset, I woke up early a couple of Saturdays ago and actually ran 10.2 miles in a little over 2 hours!!!!!!!!!!!! As I continue to build off of that progress, I should have no trouble with the half-marathon I plan on entering in November. Stay tuned!

The second victory of the month actually came as a surprise. I had saved several pair 38" pants from around the time of our wedding. I was thrilled when they finally started fitting again just a few months ago. This past weekend, I threw on a pair of those jeans and was about to leave the house when I realized that they were terribly droopy...

So we hit the stores. I tried on the 36" pants and the same was true--they were too droopy as well! So, I am proud to say that I am now wearing a 34" waist!!! That's down from a 50" when I started this journey 9 months ago yesterday!!!! So I got new pants and (as you can tell from my current photo above, I need to go pick up a new belt as well).

5.2 Pound Weight Loss + New Running Record + Down 2 Pant Sizes This Month = Major Win!

Weight Loss Journey-August 2009

258.2-241.4

August 13th marked my 8 month anniversary as a Weight Watcher and several goals have been met.

First of all, I have my regular 6 month check-up with my doctor coming up this week. For years every visit to him ended in the same way--"Matt, you know your family's history as well as I do--if you don't get your weight under control, you're going to have terrible health for the rest of your life." I would generally scoff at his judgment and hit Mr. Ghatti's pizza buffet on my way home--you know, because I was on that side of town...

Well, last time I went in for my 6 month check up was after 2 months as a Weight Watcher. I had lost over 40 pounds and was (for the first time in a long time) finally weighable on his scale that only went up to 350 lbs. I was so proud of myself and that fool didn't say anything about it! He didn't even bring it up. Ugh...

I left fuming and set a goal to have lost 150 pounds by the time of my next visit. Well that visit is coming up on the 19th and as of this past Saturday, I have lost 151.8 pounds!!!! If he ignores 150 pounds lost, I may just have to throw him out of the window!

Another goal reached this month has to do with the last time I was on Weight Watchers. As I mentioned in an earlier post, I used Weight Watchers as a DIET to lose a bunch of weight before my wedding back in 2005. I lost 109 pounds and got down to 247 lbs. Then I got cocky--I remember thinking, "I don't need to pay these people to weigh me! I've lost 109 pounds!"

As always, short term goals lead to short term success. I started to gain weight back immediately after I quit Weight Watchers. And I know that at this point, some bozo is going to use that last statement as an excuse to not change their life for the better--"See, you can lose all of that weight on Weight Watchers, but as soon as you stop following the plan, you'll gain it all back!"

Weight Watchers does not work long term as a diet. The beautiful thing, though, is that it is not intended to be a diet. Diets end. Lifestyles are forever. I failed to grasp that the first time around, but now I know it and live it every day! But I digress...

I got down to 247 and started to gain weight back immediately. Why is that significant? Well, I graduated high school back in 1999 weighing in at or around 250. So, it's official, with a weigh in this past Saturday at 241.4, I am now the lightest I have been since I was a senior in high school! That feels pretty good!

And finally, I cannot stop running. I started out in December, only able to do 2 minutes on a treadmill at 2.5 mph. I recently ran 7.5 miles in 1-1/2 hours!

Only 16.4 lbs to go to goal!!!

Weight Loss Journey--July 2009

271.8-258.2

It's bloggin' time again! Today marks my 7-month anniversary as a Weight Watcher. As of this past Saturday, I have lost 135 pounds exactly--from 393.2 to 258.2 lbs.

Other victories this month include:

* Running the entire Firecracker 5k in 35 min, 37 sec. When I started Weight Watchers, I tried to walk on a treadmill and couldn't last a minute. Now I regularly run for 45 minutes!!!

* I now wear an XL shirt (down from a 3-4XL)

* I'm also wearing a 36 in. waist (down from a 50 in. waist 7 months ago)

Weight Loss Journey--June 2009

285.2-271.8

Well, it's the 13th again, which means that it's time for my monthly weight-loss blog. But this 13th is special. Today is my 6 month Weight Watchers anniversary.On December 13, 2008 I wandered in to my first Weight Watchers meeting thinking I'd better start turning my life around before it was too late. I had no idea that morning how close to too late I'd actually gotten!

I weighed in at 393.2 pounds and felt about as embarassed, frustrated, and sick as I'd ever been. This morning I weighed in at 271.8 pounds for a total weight loss of 121.4 pounds and a total percentage weight loss just under 31%. My goal for this date was 120 lbs lost...but I'll take the 121.4 I'm sitting here thinking about how thankful I am for the Weight Watchers lifestyle. This is not an unsustainable diet that will help me lose weight for a time but a way of life that, should I choose to live it (moment by moment, decision by decision, day by day) will be a part of who I am for the rest of my days.

A few more victories this past month include:

* Not having to pay the extra $2 for extended sizes

* Coming in 5th place at Shreveport First's Faith Promise 5K (last year, I came in dead last)

* Wearing a shirt that I received for Christmas years ago and have been unable to wear!

Weight Loss Journey--May 2009

298.8-285.2

It's time for my monthly weight-loss journey update and I have another milestone to report. I have now lost over 100 pounds (108 to be exact).That's right! In a little under 5 months, I have gone from 393.2 lbs to 285.2 lbs...from a 50" waist to a 38" waist (as of last night)...and from NO energy to A LOT of energy.I still have 60.2 lbs to lose before I reach my goal of 225 and I have a plan--I'm going to lose one at a time and NEVER come back again!!!!

Weight Loss Journey March/April 2009

335-298.8

First of all, let me apologize. I know that I have missed my monthly blog for the past two months (March 13 & April 13). The reason I haven't kept you up to date via this blog is because I gave up using this stupid computer at home during the season of Lent. It's amazing how attached we become to these things over time. The break was a good one. I'd recommend it to anyone.

I was going to wait until May 13 to update you on my progress but I arrived at a bit of a milestone this morning at my weigh-in so I thought I'd share. I am no longer in the 300s!!! As of this morning, I have lost 94.4 lbs since December 13, bringing me down to 298.8.

Another great thing happened last night--I needed to buy new pants. For weeks now, I've been walking around, looking like a kid being forced to wear is big brother's hand-me-downs so I needed to buy some pants that fit. When I began this journey in December, I was wearing a 50" waist. Last night, I was able to purchase two pair of 40" pants and they fit perfectly!

I still have 73.8 lbs to go on my way to 225. I don't necessarily have a goal clothing size, so we'll see where that leads.

Throughout this process, I have come to realize that living in a rut is not really living at all. God has created us for so much and is inviting us to be a part of so much more than what we so often settle for. There are enough limitations on our lives that are beyond our control. It makes no sense to allow the things that we can control (weight, finances, attitudes, comfort, etc...) overwhelm the life that we could be living for Him...for others...for ourselves.

Weight Loss Journey February 2009

From 354.8-335

Well it's time for my monthly blog, documenting the weight loss journey that I began on December 13, 2008. Last time I posted (January 13, 2009), I was weighing in at 354.8 for a total loss of 38.4 during my first month on Weight Watchers.As of this morning, I am weighing in at 335 for a total weight loss of 58.2 in two months. And I feel GREAT!

Despite a month that really kept me more lethargic than I would have preferred to have been, I was still able to lose about 5 lbs a week.This week should hold two exciting events: On Monday I am planning on visiting several gyms in the area to see who can give the best deal for what I'm seeking. I probably won't join until my birthday (March 2) but want to be able to hit the ground running when that day comes around (so, if you're wondering about a gift...). Also, on Wednesday, I have my regularly scheduled 6 month general check up. Most of you will have no clue what this is about, but for the last few years, I have not been able to register on the Dr.'s scale (they only go up to 350). I am excited to finally be weighable by the medical community. I'm also interested to see how my blood work looks! I'll see many of you soon. I'll report to all of you next month. God bless.

Weight-Loss Journey January 2009

From 393.2--354.8

Let me be clear from the start--this is NOT my resolution for the new year. It's not that I have anything against such resolutions or those who make them. It is just that, in my personal history, resolutions for the new year are never intended to be kept...always intended to be broken, implicitly, from the very start.

This resolution has nothing to do with it no longer being 2008 and it finally being 2009. It has everything to do with my genuine fear that if I did not change my life drastically, I may not make it to see 2010. Here's my story:Anyone who knows me knows that I have struggled with my weight for most of my life. I have experienced drastic swings in weight (I lost 110 pounds in 1997...gained 150 back by early 2005...I lost 115 in 2005 and gained 150 back by late 2008). In '96 I lost the weight for football. In '05 I lost the weight for my wedding. As it turns out, I am able to remain incredibly focused when I have a goal looming over my head. But without such a goal, I all too easily fall off the wagon. I suppose this is part of the reason why I've never been successful with new year resolutions--eventually the new year becomes this year and the luster wears off.

Looking back, neither one of those weight-loss journeys were sustainable. I lost all of the weight in '96 during the summer between my freshman and sophomore years. At the heart of that loss was a strict diet and eight-plus-hour-a-day workouts. This worked fine for a high school kid without a job or other commitments but not for someone living in the real world.In 2005, I lost all of the weight via Weight Watchers--an incredible program with proven results-- but I only ate fat free hotdogs and Subway sandwhiches the entire time (my fault, not WW). As soon as the wedding was over, I said, "Pass the pizza." During that time, I learned how to lose weight on the system but failed to learn the healthy habits and choices that would lead to a healthy lifestyle. I also got prideful and figured that after losing so much weight on the program I didn't need to pay anyone to weigh me...I figured I could do it myself. Without that weekly accountability and community, it wasn't long before my weight and well-being became little more than an after thought and a twinge of guilt after one of my all-day-eat-fests.

A few months ago, I started to notice how terrible I felt ALL of the time. As a large person, I am familiar with being uncomfortable in my body at times but this was different--Constant pain...constant fatigue...constant cyclical hunger/binging/hunger. In all of my life as an overweight individual I have felt bad but never THAT bad. I knew something needed to be done. In early December, I decided to give Weight Watchers another go. Not the counting points and weighing myself at home version--the real deal, face the scale, and do this in community kind of weight watchers. And here's what I found:

The Awful Truth: On Saturday, December 13, 2009 I weighed in at 393.2 lbs. (the largest I have EVER been). Up to that day, I was having night sweats every night (every cause of night sweats is terrifying...especially for a 27 year old), I could no longer wear my wedding ring, none of my clothes fit properly, I was perpetually exhausted, often cranky, and selfish in all of the bad ways of being selfish.

The New Truth: Today, one month and a day later, I weigh in at 354.8 for a total weight loss of 38.4 lbs in 31 days. And I can already tell a major difference! I have not had one night sweat since December 12, 2008. I wear my wedding ring everyday now. I have already dropped a pant size. On Sunday, January 4th, I preached in a suit that hadn't fit properly since last June. I have a lot more energy (in fact, I need to wrap this up so that I can go put in an hour on the treadmill). I'm still probably a little cranky...And I'm finally selfish in all of the good ways of being selfish (taking care of myself first SO THAT I can take care of others).Oh, and I'm also staying ahead of the monotonous monster by setting a goal of preparing a new meal every week, an old favorite every week, and not allowing myself to eat the same meal more than twice in the same week. So far, there is nothing routine about this routine.

Much like with our debt-destroying journey throughout 2008, I will be blogging every month on my progress. My goal weight is 225, so there is a long way to go. But with the wonderful support and encouragement from my lovely bride, a great community like Weight Watchers, and the wonderful friends, family, and fellow-pilgrims at Shreveport First Church of the Nazarene I WILL see this journey through.So, forget about'09. Here's to being around for 2010!!!!

The Point Of It All

Back on December 13, 2008 I wandered into my first Weight Watchers meeting. I knew I had let things get out of hand but was not prepared to hear that I had ballooned up to 393.2 lbs (up from 247-ish at my wedding less than 3 years before). I was shocked...momentarily convinced that I had gone too far and there would be no turning back for me...

But then I had an epiphany. If I could let myself go that far...if I could push the envelope to the point where, as a 27 year old man, I was just shy of 400 lbs...why couldn't I push it in the other direction? I'd already proven I was extreme. Why not take it back the other way.

I wanted to document my journey, and so began the monthly blog. I started the blog on myspace in January and have updated it on or near the 13th of every month from then to now.

I have since started to use my myspace page only for this purpose, so I have decided to start a seperate blog page. What follows is that monthly myspace blog from January to July with all new entries to follow.

I hope you enjoy...I hope you're inspired...